March 20, 2022
Not all questions are created equal. For example:
What if...? (imagination)
What now...? (action)
Why...? (purpose/meaning/value)
Direction... (What next?)
What/Who/When...? (facts/background/history)
I have had the fun of speaking with people on trains and boats and planes. (Am glad that I did this freely before the pandemic restrictions.)
James Dobson compared conversation questions to tennis balls. If Person A “throws” one to Person B, and he/she answers without asking one back, then soon that Person B is left with an arm full of the balls/questions. Person B has not used any reciprocating questions or comments to engage Person A.
Increasingly, more people are sitting near other people, preoccupied with looking only at their phones. The art of conversation is becoming lost, or at least diminished.
As Person A, you may need to politely assess how to engage Person B who may not have learned good conversation skills. It is worth the effort.
A couple of years ago, I was walking through a park, and about 8 adults were sitting in lawn chairs, heads bent over their phones. It was lovely weather and some teens and kids were playing Frisbee and frolicking on the grass. I wished I could swoop in and tell the adults to ditch their phones and connect with the others. Sigh.
